People who get sober often feel like they have to or else. They feel as though they have been harshly punished by police officers, interventionalists, their boss, or their family. Their mentality may be that they were thrown under the bus when in reality what they needed was to be thrown on the bus in order to pursue recovery measures.
The realization of sobriety is there is often more wreckage to clean up than people are willing to take on. Not to mention that there is real suffering that takes place in grieving the loss of drugs and alcohol because these substances became what they believe to be the only thing they count on. Getting sober could cause them to become miserable making them unintentionally act like a martyr rather than to grab onto their recovery for dear life.
What is a Martyr?
A martyr is someone who is a sufferer of an ailment which totally relates to your addiction. Drugs and alcohol are poison to the body, mind, and soul which can cause pain and agony over time with consistent abuse of them. Now that you are sober, your addiction will give the illusion that sobriety is really the cause of your suffering. You just cannot imagine going through the milestones of your life without a celebratory drink or dealing with stressful situations without getting high. Having this misconception at the forefront of your mind can keep you from getting the help that you need to make you happy, joyous, and free. If you want to change your martyrdom, you can if you take some direction based on acting with principled behavior.
Use humility to your advantage.
Part of letting go of your suffering is humbling yourself into your recovery program and letting go of the past. When you get into enough pain you will be able to finally put your pride aside to take some action in recovery. There is no shame in receiving help for your addiction because without it you will continue to feel bad about your circumstances rather than grow from them.
Use growth to your advantage.
Addiction recovery is a great way to find some tools to cope with the pain you are trying to drink or drug away. The 12-Steps are designed to assist you in seeing the truth in your situation and to see where you can grow from it instead of staying stuck. Putting these two dynamic forces together can give the opportunity to exhibit growth that stems from working through your past.
Use your past to your advantage.
Thinking about your past probably gives you feelings of shame and guilt. Being under the influence of drugs and alcohol often makes people do things they could never imagine doing sober. You are probably in the same boat of putting yourself into situations that you are not proud of. The good news is that these instances that you are sure you would take to the grave are the very ones that can also keep you sober. Keeping those shameful memories as a reminder of what you are capable of doing can be the best asset you have to remain sober, so you never have to feel that way again. As a bonus, your past also serves the purpose of hope for someone else who may not think they could get sober. They hear about your past and see where you are today which gives the indication, they can do what you did.
Use service to your advantage.
Nothing is ever better than being of service to someone else. You will realize that you are not the only one who has been dealt a bad hand. Helping someone else will also help you to get outside of yourself and start thinking of others. You may think you have nothing to offer but you do. Sitting with someone and talking about recovery is a great way to be of service to others. Going to meetings or calling someone on the phone to ask how they are doing are all simple ways to let others know that they cared about. Giving them some esteem when they feel like they do not deserve it will also serve in gaining some esteem for yourself.
Use respect to your advantage.
Freeing yourself from being a martyr can really only come from self-respect and gaining respect from others. Continuing to build on your recovery by becoming honest enough to work on yourself will give you longstanding leverage over your past. Rather than repressing yourself in negativity, you can respectfully learn to love yourself.
There is nothing wrong with feeling like a martyr when you have experienced trauma or have been a victim of bad decisions. You just do not want to stay there for too long because being a martyr can wear you down after a while. Implementing these recovery principles will give you a way to live a healthier and prosperous life in recovery if you give it a chance.
Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, Detox Center of Colorado offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, Detox Center of Colorado fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing. Call us today for more information: 303-536-5463