Going to 12-Step meetings for the first time can be a daunting event for someone who is unsure of what these meetings entail. After learning the ropes of the meetings, you attend, there is nothing worse than someone or something causing undue stress in your comfort zone. Although most people in recovery are coming together to learn how to stay sober, you may endure a bad apple in a bunch of good ones. Whether they crosstalk your share at the meeting or you feel like your anonymity is being broken, you may find yourself wondering what to do in these circumstances.
Find a Buddy
Codependency might have been your strong suit in your addiction, but in recovery, you simply need a buddy who is separate from your sponsor. This person is someone that you can laugh with, cry with, and hang with at meetings – another support person to lean on when life gets unbearable. Someone who can trust you and you can trust them, so if there is a predator in the rooms you can band together.
You could have the mentality that snitches get stitches even though that is not really how it works in recovery. Everyone should be united in the solution to stay sober. This means that if someone is hitting on you, bullying you, or giving you unsolicited advice, talk to your sponsor about it first and foremost. Another way to get results is to talk to the leader of the meeting. Chances are if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, you are probably not the only one being victimized. Meetings are meant to keep people on the path of recovery and when resentments get in the way, that path can be deterred towards a relapse. For a chance to stay sober, you must speak up about the things that could lead you to pick up a drink or a drug, so that you can identify what provokes you.
Stick With the Winners.
Although you may naturally find yourself gravitating to the “bad boy” or the “bad girl” because they tend to be cool, take contrary action. There are tons of wonderful people attending meetings who are there to encourage and guide you in your program. The cool people in recovery are those who want to stay sober because their life depends on it.
You never need to feel scared of people in 12-Step meetings because solution is part of recovery. The solution here is to not let anyone run you out of a meeting. Find a way around these people, places, and things that are constricting your recovery by asking for help on how to handle the situation.
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