Why Do I Have to Wait a Year to Date Someone?

Why Do I Have to Wait a Year to Date Someone?

If you are new in recovery, you may be disappointed that there is a suggestion to wait a whole 365 days before getting into a relationship. This opinion, which has been around for decades, is important to comprehend because the question still remains:  why shouldn’t people date in their first year of recovery?


You Are Not Emotionally Ready

In the first year of sobriety, most people are emotionally similar to a raw nerve walking around. Now that you no longer have drugs and alcohol to help you cope, being able to deal with the ups and downs of a relationship can disrupt your emotional state.

You will probably find yourself reverting back to negative behaviors that you hoped would change once you got sober. Plus, your emotional maturity might be stuck right where it was when you first started drinking.

If this is the case, you will most likely remain miserable without making the necessary changes to equip yourself to be in a healthy relationship. 


You Are Still Transforming in Recovery

When you come into recovery you will be one person, and once you start going to therapy or working the 12-Steps, you will evolve into another. Becoming cognizant of your old behaviors so you can replace them with new ones can help you break your patterns of the past.

This shift is what recovery is really about. You stop drinking and begin making changes regarding your thinking and behaviors.

Eventually, you come out on the other side a new person who is better prepared to begin a sober relationship. Any type of relationship is work, but a romantic relationship takes an extravagant amount of work to stay strong. Using the tools you have learned in your recovery can help you appreciate the good times and manage if things start getting difficult. 


You Are Showing Your Willingness

Going to any lengths to stay sober is prevalent when you are taking the suggestions that recovery provides. You must be willing to look at the situation with honesty before you jump into an unhealthy relationship.

You need to protect yourself from a possible heartbreak that could lead straight to a relapse. Your recovery has to be your number one priority so that you can safeguard all the effort you have put into it. 


The best thing you can do in recovery is to trust and follow guidelines proven by people who have achieved long term sobriety. Your patience in relationships will be well worth the wait. You will also be able to look back and be proud of the wise decisions you are making now in sobriety. 


Valiant Living wants to assist you in building healthy and long-lasting relationships through our evidence-based therapies. We foster connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. With the power of recovery, clients are restored to full health and experience life-changing healing.

Call us today for more information at (303) 536-5463.

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