How Do I Stop Provoking Someone I Love in Recovery?

Pensive girl

When someone you love is trying to get help from drug and alcohol addiction, you may find yourself even more cautious not to get them riled up enough to relapse. Walking around on eggshells may seem like the way to go, but just figuring out a way to be supportive is the most critical aspect.  Encouragement will come in various ways and finding a way to back your loved one can help prepare them for the ride that comes with recovery. While the person may already be in treatment, finding help for you as a supportive person is imperative, especially if you feel like you are provoking them in any way. 

Everyone Needs to Stay in Their Lane

The truth of the matter is the person trying to get sober must take responsibility for what their part is instead of letting what others do justify their bad behavior. Once someone is finally ready to get sober, it should not matter what anyone else around them is doing. The main focus should be on themselves and how to stop their addiction. If you are enabling them, allowing your codependency issues to fuel their addiction, or not being tolerant of their fight, you can consider yourself provoking them. Try staying in your lane to focus on what you can do to better yourself in this scenario because the only way they will get sober is to make the personal effort needed.

Everyone Needs Support

Although you may believe your loved one is the one with the problem, you have nonetheless been affected by their addiction. Not only does your loved one need guidance in their recovery, but you will need your own assistance to stop giving them the ammunition to blame you. Attending therapy or a support group may seem terrifying to accept since you may not realize the ripple effect their addiction has on you. When you get support for yourself, it shows them that you support them in their endeavors because you believe in them. You will also know how to diffuse any issues or resentments plaguing you through the guidance of a therapist, sponsor, or peer advocate.

Keep in mind that you can only control what you are doing. If you are setting boundaries and detaching with love when needed, you are not likely to “provoke” them. They are more than capable of understanding they are inciting things without you having to take all the blame. Keep working on yourself, and you will intuitively know how to handle them and the situations to come. 

Addiction is a family disease, and all family members need to gain their own insight on how to handle the aftermath. The Detox Center of Colorado can be the light at the end of the tunnel that can provide a safe environment to discover the solution to your loved one’s addiction to drugs and alcohol while you root them on every step of the way. We offer a full range of rehabilitation and mental health services, including an integrative, strength-based and client-centered approach that is meant to restore our clients to full health by enriching their life in sobriety. Call us today to get started on your journey in recovery: (303) 952-5035  


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