“Blood is thicker than water” is a phrase that implies that family is the most important bond that you can have here on Earth. In theory, that sounds like the perfect world. The truth is that family relationships can be tricky at times and hard to endure. Your deepest pain is probably rooted in the dynamics of your family history, which causes your emotional state to resemble a roller coaster.
The issues you have with your family can seem never-ending, without any resolution in sight. The problems are partly due to the past and partly because of your addiction’s role in your relationships. Getting through these family issues is feasible if you are willing to put effort into doing so. Thankfully, attending therapy and working a 12-Step program can help set the stage for what the future holds for you and your relatives.
Let the Past Go
There is a reason that letting go of the past is such a common concept in recovery. Resentments will make you relive the past repeatedly until you can let them go by working the 12-Steps. The point is not to resolve the problems but to let them evolve into your personal growth.
Letting problems and resentments fester will only bring anguish and suffering while letting the past go will help rid you of all the excess baggage of emotions and feelings that you have carried around for long enough. The key is forgiving yourself and others for past actions and behavior and to enjoy the present and keep the future free and clear to stay sober.
Let Compassion Be Your Family Name
Forgiveness without compassion means that you continue to blame your family for everything that happens. What if you looked at the family issues from the perspective that they did the best they could with what they had? This perception does not mean that no one made mistakes, nor does this mean that the offenses are now justified.
This perception means that we are all a work in progress, trying to grow as human beings. Some people learn from their mistakes, and some do not. Having a compassionate soul means that you can set boundaries to protect yourself from toxic family members.
Still, you no longer attempt to judge or criticize yourself or others because you know that only hurts your recovery. You risk putting yourself in a position to drink or use drugs to cope with anger and resentment instead of allowing yourself to move forward with compassion because you want the same kindness in return.
Throughout this process, you will need to realize that your recovery has to come above everything. With your program on your side, you can work through anything and be better for it. You may come to a point where rigid boundaries must be in place in order to have ongoing relations with your family.
Be confident in who you are and where you are going, and hopefully, your family will be by your side to experience it all.
The Detox Center of Colorado is more than just a rehabilitation center. We are a staff of caring individuals who want to show you a new way to live in your recovery while renewing relationships with your loved ones. Offering a full range of recovery and mental health services, The Detox Center of Colorado offers “Expanded Recovery” to enrich our clients’ lives in mind, body, and spirit. Through evidence-based therapy options and the endless adventure of Colorado, The Detox Center of Colorado fosters connection, encouraging clients to get connected to themselves, their peers, their families, and their higher power. Call us today for more information at (303) 536-5463.
